Is it Enough?
by WorldofImagination18
Summary: Tragedy doesn't always come in the form of the Dark Lord. Over a year since the battle of Hogwarts, Fred and Hermione have built a life together. But a new tragedy occurs which threatens to tear them apart for good. Not that Fred is going to let it go without a fight. AN: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters.


**_AN: Just a note to say this story does deal with people experiencing miscarriages and not being able to have children so if they are subjects that are likely to be difficult to read about, _****_then you have been warned._****_ I have no experience in these areas but hopefully I've dealt with them well. _**

_29__th__ December 1999_

"Hermione? Just going down to the shop?"

The silence wasn't a surprise for Fred. During the past month it'd been a struggle to get his girlfriend to say more than a few sentences at a time. Silence had almost become the norm in the house.

"Hermione?" Fred poked his head round the door. Hermione's body was curled up in bed. He forced a smile onto his face and moved towards her. She briefly glanced at him before looking back over at the far wall. Fred knelt down beside her.

"Hey." He pushed her hair from her face. "I can always stay in. George would understand."

She shook her head. "No, I'm fine." A hand slid out from under the blankets and wiped at her eyes.

"I thought…. I thought I might go back into work today. Just for a few hours. They said I can take as much time as I need but staying here all day isn't helping."

Fred took her hand, his fingers interlacing with hers.

"Are you sure? Seriously I can stay home. We could maybe go for the day somewhere. Try and…" he took a deep breath. "Try and get our minds off it."

"No, I want to go back to work." Hermione propped herself up on her elbow. Fred couldn't help but smile at the sight. Six months of living together and the thought of still made him feel warm inside. Every time he saw her, he found himself savouring everything about her. The events of the past few years had taught him how quickly things could be taken. And the past month had told him that it didn't always take a powerful, dark wizard for that to happen. Fred kissed her hand.

"If you need me, I'll be at the shop. Doesn't matter what, if you need me then I'll be right there. I promise."

Hermione gave a mute nod. Fred pushed himself to his feet; a wince slipping from his mouth.

"I'm fine." He waved away Hermione's concerns before she had a chance to voice them. "I slept on it a bit oddly. It'll be fine once I start moving."

"Just don't overdo it," Hermione said, "It's a miracle you can still walk Fred! Get George to do all the heavy lifting okay?"

Fred nodded. He was half tempted to pretend to be in pain just to hear Hermione nag him. It was the first time in a while she'd sounded anything like her old self. Instead, he simply rubbed his back and headed towards the door.

"_Anything_ at all and I'll come rushing over there okay?"

Hermione nodded. "Fred I'll be fine."

Fred knew he was probably going over the top. But Hermione had been a shadow of her old self nearly every day for the past few weeks. Last time he'd seen her like that, had been the first few months after the battle of Hogwarts. At least back then she'd not been the only one. Nearly every single occupant of the Burrow had been in a similar state. Fred shut the door behind him. Even now he still had the occasional nightmare. He could never see anything. Instead he could just feel the wall landing on him. Hear George and Hermione screaming his name as it suffocated the life out him.

* * *

"Sure you're okay back here?"

Fred glanced up at his brother. George's tie knot had come loose, and his shirt was half untucked. Fred raised an eyebrow.

"Had a quick 'catch-up' with Angelina, did we?"

George shook his head and Fred was quick to notice a flush in his twins' cheeks.

"No. Had two second years fighting over the last punching telescope. In the end me and their dad's had to drag them apart."

"Clearly your so-called charm isn't having any effect anymore." Fred turned back to the table. He usually only worked on their latest inventions during closing hours, or if there were any quiet periods. But the idea of going out and facing a shop full of children had his stomach churning. How could he smile and tell jokes to children after what he and Hermione were dealing with? A hand came down on his shoulder.

"Fred? Fred look at me."

It wasn't often Fred didn't want his twins' company. But as he heard a child laughing with their mum in the shop, his stomach clenched. He blinked furiously to stop his tears.

"Forge look at me." George slid into the opposite seat. "Are you alright? I mean _really_ alright?"

Fred shrugged. "You'd think, after everything we faced, that we'd be alright. That if anything happened, we'd be able to deal with it. But this...? George there's nothing that every prepares you for this."

"Fred-"

"I mean you think," Fred carried on, "that because we only knew for a few weeks that we'd be okay. It's not like we even had time to get used to the idea before it was taken away. But it just makes it worse because it's almost like it never happened."

"Listen to me," George reached over and took his hand. "What you two have gone through is awful. Especially after the past few years. But both you and Hermione are strong. You'll be able to deal with this."

"We lost our baby!" Fred spat. "Tell me how we're supposed to deal with that?"

His brother froze and Fred shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't… I'm sorry."

"I know," George said, "I know. And I know this isn't something you can get over easily. I just meant that you two have gone through so much and come through it. You'll make it through this as well."

Fred sighed. His eyes were still fixed on the table. Getting over Hermione's miscarriage had – for him – been the easy part. The empty look on Hermione's face each day. The way she had started to pull away from him, was the hardest part. At first Fred has tried to ignore it. Put it down to grief. But now he was wondering if his girlfriend was trying to tell him something.

"Fred?"

"I think I'm losing her." he whispered. "She barely talks to me and if we're on the sofa or in bed she just curls up by herself. She'll sometimes hold my hand but that's about it. Sometimes things seem like they'll go back to normal – like this morning when she was telling me not to overdo it because of my back. But other times…. it's like she wants nothing to do with me."

"People deal with things differently." George said; a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Maybe this is her way of dealing with it. You have to remember; she's lost a lot more than you over the past few years."

Fred nodded. He still had his family. All of his friends. Hermione had no parents and knew plenty of people who had died at Hogwarts. They didn't talk about them, but he knew she felt guilty for each and every single person who had fallen during the battle.

"Have you told anyone else?"

Fred shook his head. "Just you. I think Hermione told a few people at work. But no one else. She hasn't even told Ron and Harry."

"Maybe you should," George said with a shrug, "At the end of the day, this has happened to you both. The more people around to help you might make her – and you – feel less alone."

"I've tried to tell her that." Fred ran his hands through his hair. "Told her to talk to Ginny. Or Harry. Or anyone. But she doesn't want mum finding out."

George narrowed his eyes. "Mum? Why doesn't she want her to know? She'd be upset, but she wouldn't be annoyed or anything."

Fred bit his lip. "George…. what I'm about to tell you, doesn't go beyond these walls. Okay?"

George nodded and Fred took a deep breath. He knew this was another reason Hermione had been shutting herself away from everyone.

"You know how, during the war, Bellatrix tortured Hermione with the cruciatus curse." He broke off. Just saying the words make him sick to his soul. Fred clenched his fists tightly.

"Anyway, after the battle I insisted Hermione be looked at by a healer. Just in case there was any permanent damage. We got told that, after everything her body had been through over the years – especially the cruciatus curse – the chances of her being able to have children were incredibly slim."

Fred glanced at his twin. George blinked back tears as understanding dawned.

"So that baby-"

"Could have been our only chance," Fred confirmed, "Or at least Hermione seems to think so. But she doesn't want mum to find out. Doesn't want to be seen as a disappointment to her."

George opened his mouth when a slam echoed through the building. Both twins glanced over to where the back door was. George moved towards it, but Fred held his arm out to stop him.

"I'll go. You've got hordes of fighting twelve-year olds to get back to."

His twin grinned. "Still think we should hire mum as shop security."

"Yeah," Fred nodded, "but we actually want to keep our customers _in _the shop."

His brother moved back out into the main shop. With a small smile to himself, Fred pushed aside his work and moved through the narrow corridor towards the back door. They weren't expecting any deliveries as far as he knew. His first assumption was Angelina had popped in to see George. He shook his head. George was certainly going to need some comforting if the noise in the shop was anything to go by. Fred poked his head around the corner and Hermione blinked nervously at him. Fred hurried forward – noticing how much her eyes glistened.

"Hey," he pulled her in for a hug, "what's happened?"

Hermione kept her arms folded to her chest. "I was walking through Diagon Alley when I saw Oliver and Katie."

"How are they?" Fred tried to ignore the emptiness of her voice. Hermione shrugged.

"Fine. Katie was especially happy considering she's four months pregnant."

* * *

Both were silent on the way up to the flat. Fred's arms curled round Hermione who kept her face pressed up against his body. He could feel her trembling in his hold. They reached the front door and Fred was quick to unlock it and let them in. Hermione didn't move out of his arms. Once the door was shut, Fred gave her a gentle squeeze.

"What happened?"

"I was coming home from work and I bumped into them. They were practically bursting to tell me the 'wonderful' news."

Fred sighed. He was happy to hear his old teammates were starting a family. Had this been any other time he'd have brought them a drink in The Leaky Cauldron. But at the same time, he also wished they had decided to be somewhere else today. Somewhere away from Hermione.

"I know they have no idea about…" Hermione's voice cracked as her breathing got more and more unsteady.

"If they had they wouldn't…" her face crumpled, and she hid behind her hands. Fred pulled her in close. His chin resting on top of her hair.

"That could have been us!" Hermione buried her face into Fred's chest.

"That should have been us! We… we should have been telling everyone we met about our baby. We should have been celebrating it with our friends!"

Fred tightened his hold. He didn't bother saying anything. He knew how long they'd been bottling this up. Hermione needed this moment. Her fists gripped his jacket and she leaned back. The sight of her red eyes tore into Fred.

"We should still have our baby."

"I know." Fred swallowed the lump in his throat. "I know. But we'll be fine. We'll get through this."

"Will we?" Hermione gently stepped out of his hold.

"Fred…. that could have been our one chance at having a family. I know we weren't exactly planning it and I know we're both maybe too young. But we might never have that chance again."

"But we might." Fred grabbed her hand. "We still might. And until we get told with absolute certainty then I refuse to believe otherwise."

He tugged on Hermione's hand. "And even if we never have another chance. Then it doesn't matter. I don't need to have children to be happy."

Hermione shook her head. "You say that now. But will you be saying in five or even ten years' time? Will you be saying it when we go to the Burrow and everyone else has their children and it's just us without any? What about when you look at all your nieces and nephews and know that you will always be the fun uncle and never the fun dad? Because I don't think you'll be saying that. I don't think you'll be happy."

"Hermione," his voice caught on her name, "Hermione is this…. Hermione what are you saying?"

"I don't know." She tore her hand free and moved away from him. Fred watched her stand in the middle of the living room. She ran a hand through her hair before turning to face him.

"Fred, I think we need to think about us. About what the future holds for us."

Fred shook his head. "No. No I'm not having this conversation. Hermione whatever you may think; us having children or not doesn't matter to me."

"But it might one day. Do you honestly want to spend the rest of your life with the knowledge you might never be a dad? Commit to someone even though they can't give you that?"

"Hermione," Fred held up his hand, "I love you okay? I love _you_. I want _you._ Everything else is just…. extra."

"But-"

"Do you love me?" Fred blinked back the oncoming tears. Hermione narrowed her gaze.

"What?"

"I love you." Fred said. "And if you still love me then that's more than enough reason for us to try and get through this."

Hermione sighed. "Fred, I love you with everything I have. You are the world to me. I just don't think it'll be enough."

* * *

_30__th__ December 1999_

Fred said nothing as his mum placed the mug in front of him. No one knew he was here other than his parents. He'd left well before Hermione had woken and had just left a note for George to say he was running some errands. He didn't need either of them worrying about him. Fred pulled the mug of tea towards him. His back was aching from a night spent sleeping on the sofa. But he didn't need his mum fussing right now. Not over that anyway.

"So then." His mum folded her arms. "What's wrong?"

"I…" Fred broke off. How did he start? _Where_ did he start? A hand slid down to his trouser pocket absentmindedly.

"What's the matter with you and Hermione?"

Fred's head shot up. "How did you know it was about that?"

His mum grinned. "Because there are very few situations where you'd be seeking my advice. Usually you go straight to George. But when it comes to you and Hermione; I imagine that's not his strongest area."

Fred smiled. "Not really. Although he does know some of what's happened. Just not everything. I don't really know where to start really."

"Well," his mum reached across the table and took his hand," why don't you go from the start?"

"I think Hermione wants to break up with me."

At the look that crossed his mum's face, Fred shook his head.

"Not because she doesn't like me or anything anymore. It's not that. But she think's that eventually I won't want her, and she just wants to save herself pain later on."

"Why on earth would she think that? It's obvious to anyone with a brain that you adore her."

"Mum," Fred gripped the mug tightly, "what I'm about to tell you is something Hermione doesn't want you to know. I know I should respect that but it's what's causing this whole mess."

His mum stayed silent and Fred took that as his cue.

"A couple of months ago, me and Hermione found out we were expecting a baby. But a couple of weeks later we lost it. She's been taking it pretty hard. We both have. But the bigger issue is the fact that the chances of her ever being able to have children is small. Very small. She feels like that was our one chance and that we'll never get another."

"Oh, my boy," his mum squeezed his hand, "After everything you've both been through as well. But why didn't she want me to know?"

"She didn't want anyone to know. Only George knows." Fred shook his head. "She thinks she's let you down. I mean you've never made a secret of how much you want grandchildren. And with Bill and Fleur now married. Harry and Ginny dating. Me and George settling down. I know you'll been getting hopeful. Hermione feels like she's disappointing us both."

"Well," his mum narrowed her eyes, "you tell her that she could _never_ do that. Ever. If she makes you happy then that's good enough for me."

Fred nodded. "I've tried to tell her you won't care. She won't even believe that I don't care. It doesn't bother me if she can't. It really doesn't. But she believes otherwise. She thinks that she's not enough for me when she is so much more than I could ever hope to deserve."

"Fred-"

"I keep telling myself that, given some more time, then she won't think this way. That's it's just grief over the baby. But it's been a month now and she still doesn't seem to have tried to move on."

"Have you though? You've only told George and me. You've both been keeping this huge weight to yourselves. I don't think either of you have let yourselves move on with this."

Fred gave a slow nod; tears leaking from his eyes.

"It's just hard mum," his voice cracked, "I'm trying to be strong for her. Trying to still bring a smile to her face. But it's always there in the back of my mind."

"Fred?" His mums voice was right by his ear and Fred realised she had moved to sit beside him. He shook his head.

"It was our baby," tears coursed down his face, "our baby and we only knew them for a few weeks. No time to even make it seem like it ever happened."

He felt his mum's arms around him and – for the first time in over ten years – Fred cried into his mums' shoulder.

"It's okay Fred," his mum whispered, "it's okay."

"I've already lost our child." Fred wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I can't lose her as well."

His hand slid back down to his trouser pocket and this time; Fred pulled out the small box. He sat it on the table and pushed it towards his mum. She glanced at him.

"Fred is this what I think it is?"

He nodded. "Before you start, this isn't some reaction to what's happened to us. I've wanted to marry her since the battle of Hogwarts. But she seems determined to believe I don't want to spend my life with her, and I thought this might be a good way of showing her that I do."

"You need to think about this Fred. I know you say you've wanted to marry her for a while, and I'm sure that's the case. But this is a lifelong commitment you're thinking of here. Are you both ready for that?"

"We were going to be having a baby which is about as lifelong as it gets. I imagine we'd be ready for this."

"In that case," his mum threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. Fred couldn't help a teasing grimace as she kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm very happy for you both."

"I was thinking of asking her when we come round tomorrow night? Just before it hits midnight. Hopefully start the new year the best way we can. Assuming she says yes."

"She will Fred. She will."

* * *

_31__st__ December 1999_

"Are you ready?" Fred glanced at his watch. They weren't exactly running late, but he needed to get to the Burrow early so him and George could make sure the fireworks were all ready.

"Hermione?"

She hurried into the room with a coat in one hand and bag in the other.

"Coming. Just had to get something."

Fred watched his girlfriend tug her coat on. They'd briefly spoken about their conversation the other night. Fred had spent most of it trying to convince her that he wanted to be with her, and Hermione – whilst not being fully convinced – agreeing to try and work through this. Fred tapped his trouser pocket. The box sat there, and he smiled to himself. Regardless of her answer, at the very least Hermione would know how much he wanted to be with her tonight.

"Fred?"

Torn from his thoughts, Fred saw Hermione standing by the fireplace. She held out of hand and he could see the other one held a handful of Floo powder. He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Did I ever tell you about the first time Harry used this? Diagon Alley came out as some kind of mumble and he ended up stranded in Knockturn Alley!"

Hermione smiled weakly. She went to step forward when Fred tugged her hand.

"Before we go, I need to let you know something. I saw mum yesterday and told her everything that had happened. I needed to talk to someone," he added as Hermione opened her mouth.

"I had to speak to someone about it and it was her. I know you didn't want her finding out but she's my mum and…. well I just needed her at that moment."

Hermione nodded, "How did she take it?"

"She was upset for us. But she doesn't care if we…. well you know. Honestly Hermione she still loves you and always will."

Hermione smiled weakly. "I guess it was unfair of me asking you not to tell her. Fred I am trying to get over it all. I really am. It's just very difficult that's all."

Fred kissed her forehead. "Hermione Granger, you make something difficult look like child's play. I know you'll master this."

"Well at least we have tonight to help us think of something else. Speaking of which," Hermione held up the closed fist with the Floo powder in.

"I know what your mum will be like given how many people are coming. I do not need a lecture on lateness from her."

With a grin, Fred followed her into the fireplace.

Chaos would be putting it mildly. The entire Weasley clan, plus extended family, plus friends from Hogwarts had all spilled out into the fields surrounding the Burrow. Harry and Ron had invited Neville, Seamus and Dean. Hermione had insisted Luna attend. Oliver, Katie, Alicia and Lee had come at Georges invitation. Whilst some of Bill, Charlie and Percy's friends had arrived as well. Fred smiled down at Hermione who clutched his hand nervously.

"So many people! I swear it wasn't this busy last year."

Fred nodded. "I think because it's going to be the millennium. Mum wanted to make it an extra special event."

Hermione nodded. "She should have asked them all to wear name tags. Charlie has introduced me to his friends twice and I still can't remember their names!"

Fred gave a mock gasp, "Why on earth would you be spending time with his friends? Me and George have the best guests by far!"

Hermione shrugged. "I don't know. It was nice to see Dean and Seamus again. Neville said Hannah would have come but she's having to work tonight."

Fred grinned. "Still can't believe he got Hannah Abbot. I remember plenty of guys were after her when she was at Hogwarts."

"No doubt you, George and Lee were among them?"

Fred shrugged. "Well I may have noticed her. But then my attention was immediately taken up by this bookworm with amazing hair and gorgeous eyes who liked to lecture me about my pranks."

Hermione gave him a gentle shove. "Your mum told me to keep an eye on you. I wasn't going to deal with the fall-out if you two got yourselves in serious trouble."

Fred pulled her close. "Well if it makes you feel better, I did actually care when you were speaking about it. I still did the pranks, but at least I cared about what you would say afterwards."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "The best I was ever going to get probably."

Fred nodded as George and Lee hurried over. His twin smiled.

"Everything's ready. When there's five minutes to go well start. They're all set to go off from the ground and they've all been timed. Once it hits midnight, we shouldn't need to do anything."

"But we have got buckets of water on stand-by," Lee added, "just in case."

Fred glanced at his watch. He had ten minutes to go. He tapped a finger against his trouser pocket to reassure himself it was still there.

"Fred?" George peered at him. "You okay?"

With a shaky nod, Fred glanced at Hermione. She reached up and pushed his fringe out of his eyes.

"Fred?"

"I…" Fred turned to his two friends before back to his girlfriend. "Sod it, I'm doing this now. George get everyone to be quiet."

"Fred!" Hermione broke off as he began tugging her through the crowds of people. Two bangs rang out from George's wand and silence fell. Hermione pulled her hand free.

"Fred what's going on."

"Give me a minute," he turned to face the crowd.

"So, um…I have an announcement to make."

Through the sea of faces he saw his mum smiling at him. Fred savoured the looks of confusion from everyone else. He slipped a hand into his pocket.

"It's an announcement which, actually isn't really to any of you lot, but to Hermione." He turned to face her. "My amazing, brilliant Hermione."

"Fred what is this?"

"The past few weeks haven't been amazing for us. They've been hellish to be honest. And I know that she thinks I don't love her or want to be with her because of it. But – for the first time ever – she's wrong. Because there is nothing that could make me not love her and want to spend my life with her."

Fred pulled out the box and got down on one knee. Shocked gasps and mutterings ran through the crowd. Hermione's eyes widened.

"Fred you'll hurt your back!"

He shrugged, "You once said you would only ever accept a proposal if it was done on one knee. I'm not taking any chances here."

"Fred-"

"Hermione," Fred reached out and took her hand, "if you're thinking I'm doing this to make you feel better then that's not what this is. I've wanted to do this for just over a year. But the past few weeks have made me realise what it'd be like to lose you. And I can't do that."

"Fred…. are you sure about this?"

He nodded. "Hermione I can quite happily live without children. But I can't live without you in my life. I just can't." He held up the box and popped it open with his thumb. "So, Hermione Jean Granger, will you marry me?"

The silence seemed to drag for hours. Hermione stared at the ring with tears leaking out of her eyes.

"Is that…?"

"One of your mums rings," Fred smiled, "I found it when we went back to your old house. She must have left it behind. I know it's not an actual engagement ring, but I figured it would mean more to you to have this one."

Hermione nodded. "Yes."

"Yes, as in, 'yes, this ring would mean more to you' or yes as in-"

"Yes, I'll marry you!" Hermione dove forward and pushed her lips up against his. Fred's hands cupped her waist, returning her kiss. The cheers surrounding them seemed to echo through Fred's mind as he and Hermione broke apart.

"You might have to help me up," he whispered, "back seems to have stiffened."

Hermione took his hands and pulled him to his feet. With a smile, Fred took her hand and slid the ring onto her finger before kissing her hand.

"Congratulations guys!" Lee Jordan pulled the pair into a hug. "So, I take it I will be best man at the wedding?"

"Hey," George elbowed him to one-side, "My brother. I'll be best man." He kissed Hermione on the forehead before pulling Fred into a hug.

"Congratulations Forge."

One by one, more and more faces began appearing. Fred watched as Harry and Ron pulled Hermione into a joint hug, whilst he found himself receiving the same treatment from his parents. As congratulatory remarks began flying from all directs, Fred checked his watch.

"George!"

"Already on it!"

George and Lee aimed their wands at the sky and the empty blackness was soon filled with a glistening clock face. The hands inching ever closer to midnight. Fred pushed past some of Charlies friends towards Hermione.

"Is everybody ready?" George shouted. "For a firework display fit for the millennium. Courtesy of the fantastic Weasley brothers who are myself and my newly engaged brother over there!"

A cheer rang out and Fred found himself right behind Hermione. Both Ron and Harry gave her another hug before moving away. She turned around and wiped at her eyes. Fred pulled her close.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "I told them about the baby. About everything."

"Ten!" George yelled. "Nine!"

"Eight!" Lee followed on. "Seven!"

Hermione held up her hand. "I still can't believe this is happening."

Fred held her close. "To be honest neither can I."

"Four! Three" Lee yelled.

"Two! One! Happy New Year!" George cheered.

Fireworks filled the sky around them. But Fred didn't notice anything. His arms were wrapped firmly around Hermione whilst she was doing the same with him. In the background Fred could hear Dean and Seamus singing 'Auld Lang Syne'. Hermione reached up and quickly kissed him.

"Happy New Year Fred."

"Happy New Year…Mrs Weasley."

She raised an eyebrow. "I think you'll find it's going to be Mrs Weasley-Granger thank you."

"What about, Weasley-Granger-Weasley?"

"I'm not marrying your brother as well Fred!"

Fred grinned. "Good thing too. They're all idiots."

_**Not as fluffy as some of my other Fremione fics, but still a lovely sweet ending to finish off 2019. Hope everyone has a safe and fun New Year and they'll be plenty more fics coming in 2020. Please feel free to let me know what you think xx**_


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